Bravery
by Kaia-Rhea
Summary: Remy has received some terrible news that she and her partner Cameron are finding hard to deal with. Will Remy be able to combat her illness amoung everything else she must deal with? Rated T for now, as some mild Camteen scenes are to follow later : .
1. Chapter 1

_I got the idea for this story while I was in bed. My medical knowledge isn't terribly good, but I hope you will enjoy this anyway.  
Please review and take a look at my other stories?  
Crit fuels me :)  
Toodle pip!  
Kaia _

Allison Cameron gently felt the her girlfriend's forehead. For the fifth consecutive day Remy was feverish, pale, and weak. Cameron's eyes were laced with concern, the corners of her mouth turned down in an effort to decide on what was best for her partner.  
"Lie down babe" she grasped Remy's shoulders to support her and laid her gently on the sofa, before going into the bathroom to fetch a thermometer and a flannel cloth soaked in tepid water. When she returned, she found her girlfriend only half conscious and had to tip her head back in order to safely insert the thermometer. She pressed the flannel onto Remy's forehead and stroked her sweaty cheek with a finger, counting down the time till she would be able to make a decision on what to do.  
The thermometer beeped, and Allison read the number on the screen. Twice. Three times.  
'Shit' she thought. The number read 105.1°.  
"Rem?" she shook her partner, trying to bring her back into consciousness. "You're really burning up now sweetheart, we have to go to the hospital. C'mon, open your eyes babe." Remy groaned, and her eyes remained shut. Allison sighed, pecked her girlfriend on the cheek and eased an arm under her body, lifting her up slowly. She half carried her to the car parked outside their shared apartment, and sat her in the passengers seat. Her head lolled to the side, her eyes rolling back in her head.  
"Just hold on baby, we'll be their in no time." Allison wasn't sure whether Remy could hear her or not, but the words were comforting to her own ears as much as they may have been to the person she was trying to comfort in the first place.  
The ride to Princeton Plainsboro took fifteen minutes, in which time Allison's worry had grown into a state of panic. She yelled for help to a nurse luckily standing outside the ER doors and together they carried Remy inside, lifting her onto a gurney. They wheeled her into the main part of the ER, and Cameron thanked her for her help.  
Once inside a cubicle, Cameron drew the curtains around it and started to undress Thirteen. She then redressed her in a standard woman's sized gown, noticing the new bruises on her arms and ribs and how much weight she'd lost.  
Reaching for her pager, she sent a message to Chase, who joined her within a couple of minutes. He took one look at Remy before stating that she'd need blood cultures and a lumbar puncture done. Allison agreed, and they carefully pulled their friend onto a hospital bed, leaving the covers off in an attempt to cool her slightly.

"Ready?" Chase asked Cameron. She nodded, gulping nervously, her hands placed on her only partly conscious girlfriend to keep her in place. She was shaking slightly both from the fever and apprehensiveness- She had at least some idea of what was going on. Chase inserted the needle he held into Thirteen's spine, collecting the fluid in a tube to send off to the lab. Thirteen herself winced uncomfortably, gasping in pain.  
"It's okay baby, it''ll be okay" Cameron whispered.  
"All done." said Chase, smiling at Allison.  
She didn't return the smile.

Cameron – Eight hours later  
I sat by Remy's bedside while she slept fitfully, her fever giving her nightmares. I watched her, distressed, as she writhed in a non-existent pain, shook with fear and cried even in her sleep. Watching her in that way and knowing I was unable to do anything made me feel sick. I felt a hand on my shoulder just as Remy had descended into a more peaceful sleep. I turned around to find Cuddy and Wilson behind me.  
Cuddy sat tentatively on the edge of the bed, her expression sympathetic.  
"What is it?" I asked nervously.  
"She has a low blood count and her LP was positive for infection. We need to do a bone marrow biopsy." I looked at Wilson. Is that why he's here?  
"B-bone marrow?" I stuttered, shocked. "You think she has cancer?"

Remy was tense underneath my hands. Sometime in the night her fever broke, thankfully. The negative side of this that she was fully awake and nervous about what the test results might bring.  
Wilson held the aspiration needle, and I cringed at the size of it. I gently pulled the gown up to Remy's waist and pressed down hard on her shoulder with one hand, while giving her the other to hold. She hadn't said anything for a while, and I noticed she was biting down on her finger. Poor baby. James swabbed the puncture site with an alcohol-based antiseptic and injected a local, first into her skin and then her bone.  
"You're going to feel a little scratch" he told her, and using a scalpel made a small nick in her skin. She held on tight to my hand as Wilson inserted the aspiration needle and twisted it, applying pressure to break through the bone. He inserted a syringe and pulled a small amount of bone marrow into it. She whimpered, tears starting to roll down her cheeks.  
"Oh, baby..." I whispered, my own eyes starting to well up. James patted her awkwardly.  
"Just a little bit more... The worst part is over, okay? I promise to be quick."  
It was all so wrong, Wilson was treating her like any other patient... But she isn't any other patient. She's Remy.  
After inserting a slightly bigger needle into the puncture site, he removed some of her bone and marrow and sent it off to the lab to be tested. He then left us to ourselves. I quietly comforted my girlfriend and wiped away my own tears, praying that the result would come up negative.  
Please God, let it be negative.

"Gin!" Remy crowed triumphantly. She was sitting up in bed, still an unhealthy colour, but her fever hadn't returned and the infection seemed to have cleared. We'd been playing card games for nearly an hour, and the only times I had won was when Remy let me win- Blackjack just wasn't my forté I guess.  
Wilson entered just as I had gathered up the cards. His face held a pained look, and I didn't have to hear his diagnosis to know the outcome.  
Remy froze, her eyes fixed on James'. He was the first to look away, and at that I burst into tears.  
"I'm sorry Remy." Wilson started, sitting on the bed and taking her hand. "You have Acute Myeloid Leukaemia."

Saturday - Two days later  
I stroke Remy's back and hold her soft hair as she vomits into a kidney dish for the second time since she started chemo today.  
"Good girl... That's it, get it all out" I soothe. She nods between lurching, the guttural noises making my own stomach turn.  
Wilson discussed the treatment plan with us. She was to endure 1.5 hours of chemotherapy a day, five days a week. He would carefully control the progression of the cancer with monthly biopsy. She would throw up. She would lose her appetite. She would lose her hair.  
All this information doesn't feel real. He's reciting textbook information and yet it sounds so foreign and impersonal. As if no one is really meant to go through all this.  
I sat down on the bed behind Remy, massaging her shoulders. She leant back into me, sweating and groggy. But even through her pain, she turned her head slightly to look at me.  
"It'll be OK." she told me. I smiled back at her.  
"I know babe" I replied.  
It'll be OK...

_Das war gut, ja? Nein? Because I can't read your thoughts, I'd really appreciate a review. Even a diddly one would do (I can rhyme all the time =D)  
Thanks for reading, check back for more chapters soon!_


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter two. I've practically lived in hospitals due to my mother's genetic condition, and in that time, I have made friends with many of the people from paediatrics, including a boy with ALL (Acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemia). In this chapter I wanted to convey the difficulties and hurt that come from a simple thing such as losing your hair._  
_Please review, and enjoy._

We lie in bed together. I stroke your hair, watch you breathe in and out...  
You're very tired at the moment; the chemo taking its brutal toll on almost every aspect of our lives. I cooked your favourite meal last night, and you barely touched it. Everything you eat tastes like rust, as if you were trying to eat old coins or something.  
It's relaxing to watch you sleep. You feel constantly nauseous and spend a lot of time in front of the toilet. We've both had to take time off work, and surprisingly, neither one of us have heard from House. I suppose it's because cancer's a hard thing to mock.  
You sigh and stretch, the first signs that you're waking up. I smile fondly at you and you turn around and curl up in my arms.  
But only moments later you volt out of bed, rush into our en-suite and retch, trying to bring up the little contents still in your stomach. I kneel down beside you and sweep your hair up into a ponytail to keep it out of your face. Exhausted, you finally sit back on your heels and sink into the crook of my arms.  
This is going to be a long haul.

After a week of chemo, both Remy and Allison started going to work again, deciding the distraction might do them good. But it didn't seem to be working for either woman. Remy disliked the constant waves of sympathy emancipating from Foreman and Taub; neither one of them dared to disagree with her ideas whilst trying to diagnose a patient. The only one who would put her down was, naturally, House.  
Thirteen didn't really see how her having cancer would change anything; after all her Huntington's hadn't. She didn't like to be treated like a frail china doll that would break if you upset her.  
Things were equally as bad for Cameron. She was distracted all day by the thought of her ill girlfriend plaguing her mind. She found it hard to concentrate and in the end took Nurse Jackson's advice and stuck to paperwork so she wouldn't make a mistake and harm a patient.  
They met in the cafeteria for a hurried lunch, and Cameron found her partner with a bottle of aspirin held to her throbbing forehead, the coolness giving her the slightest bit of relief. Allison slipped the bottle out of her hand and kissed the top of her head, sliding down to sit beside her. She put a comforting hand to her forehead.  
"You're warm" she whispered. Raised temperature was unfortunately one of the lovely side effects of chemo. Remy nodded and winced as it hurt her head. Allison pulled her to her feet. "We shouldn't have come back to work yet" she said. "If you want we can go see Cuddy and-" Thirteen shook her head.  
"No, it's fine. Really."

_One week later  
_I met Remy in the locker room at the end of the day. She was sitting with her head in her hands, rocking slowly back and forth.  
"Hey you... What's up?" she looked at me, her eyes red and grief-stricken. She raised a hand and ran it through her glossy hair, then showed me the result.  
Her hair had started falling out.  
"Oh, babe..." I pulled her into a hug, stroked her hands, said everything I should have said, and yet she continued to cry. She was becoming hysterical, and I started to worry.  
"Rem, sweetie, please stop crying! You'll give yourself an asthma attack or you'll make yourself sick... It'll be okay, your hair will grow back, you know that!" she shook her head, trying to say something, but not quite able to manage through her tears. She started choking, and she struggled to breath. I wanted to go for help but she wouldn't let me leave her alone.  
All of a sudden, Cuddy rushed in. I breathed a sigh of relief.  
"I heard you from outside the door." she explained, sitting Remy down and leaning her forwards, rubbing her back to help her breathe.  
I stared at them, stunned, realising for the first time just how hard this was going to be on her- on both of us.

Cuddy practically forced Remy to take some time off after that incident. It was obvious that this was going to be a major struggle for her and we didn't want the divine intervention of House or anyone else while she was still getting used to the concept of having AML.  
I had my work hours shortened so I only worked two days a week. I could spend as much time possible with Rem, but still have a regular supply of income coming into the house.  
After a couple of weeks, we fell into a routine.  
We would get up together, and Remy would stand in front of the mirror, applying make-up to her delicate features to draw attention away from her hair- or at least, away from the lack of it. I would put my arms around her waist, tell her she looks beautiful. She does.  
I'd make breakfast, something high in carbohydrates to keep her going through the day. She'd refuse to eat most of it, and then we'd curl up on the sofa and watch TV or read books and magazines. Rarely it would lead to sex, but usually Remy would end it curled up in a ball, fast asleep.  
I'd make lunch, she'd eat a mouthful and then push the plate away, offer to help tidy up, get rejected for that offer and then read some more.  
In the evening, I'd force her to eat at least half her dinner, we'd usually share a bath or shower, and we'd go to bed. She'd be exhausted, and I could spend hours watching her sleep.  
It's the only time when she's away from all this, the needle sticks, the fatigue. And that makes me feel ao much better.

_I'm not sure I'm capturing the pain right.  
Hopefully I'll improve. I'd appreciate a review :)  
Thanks!_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**__

Thirteen  
Acute Myeloid Leukaemia. Acute Myeloid Leukaemia.  
It rolls off my tongue as I stand in front of the mirror, saying the dreaded words over and over. It doesn't sound like such a devastating disease really. Just a jumble of words that shouldn't mean anything important. It should be the name of of sandwich or a band, but not a form of cancer.  
I smiled to myself, trying to tell myself that I can still look okay without my brunette locks falling past my shoulders, that the blue headscarf Ally picked out for me suits me just as well.  
_Allison. _She's been so good to me. I don't feel I deserve it. I _don't _deserve it. And I hoped that fact would justify what I was about to do.

_Cameron  
_"Hey, Rem" I smiled at her as she entered the kitchen. I had been chopping vegetables but stopped as Remy came in, instead sitting at the table and pulling a chair out for her to sit on. Her eyes are brighter today, thanks to the new cocktail of drugs Wilson prescribed her. She doesn't feel so nauseous all the time now, and she has more energy. But she still doesn't look too happy, and I frowned in concern.  
"Remy?" She looked away.  
"I think we should break up" she mumbled quickly. I froze, my mouth wide open in surprise. A lone tear snaked its way down her cheek. Her eyes were laden with guilt and regret, and the reason as to why she was breaking up with me suddenly dawned on me.  
"No." I said. She looked up at me, surprised.  
"Um... It wasn't a question..." she said, blinking at me. I took her hands in mine.  
"Look Rem, I know it's hard for you to let anyone else do so much for you; you're usually so independent... But it'll be fine. I don't mind, I love taking care of you, baby. It's so worth it, and if you walk away now we'll both regret it for the rest of our lives." I saw her flinch at the last part.  
"But... If I... If I die, what will you do then? I watched my mother die, Allison, my _mother. _And you've already had one husband die. I don't wanna put you through that again. I've thought about this for a long time." I stared into her teal eyes, red from crying.  
"So have I" I admitted. "And I still don't care." she managed a watery smile, and after we shared a hug, I got back to making dinner. And this time I didn't gently scold Remy when she started to help.

_Thirteen  
_Allison had already gone to work before I got out of bed almost three weeks after that 'episode'. I stretched and groaned, not feeling so hot. I'd promised Ally to call her if I felt ill again, but I didn't want to disturb her. Working was the only time she got away from all this. I stood on wobbly feet and stumbled towards the bathroom. I only just made it in time, lifting the toilet seat and retching into the bowl. There isn't anything in my stomach though, so all I could throw up is bile. A minute later I sit back on my heels against the bathroom wall, panting. I reach for the thermometer that now sits on top of the counter. I measure at 103.8°. Too high. I shivered, and pulled myself up, using the wall as a support as I go into the kitchen to find my medicines. On the kitchen table was a pile of flapjacks with a sticky label next to the plate: EAT!  
I smiled, but pushed the plate away, the sight of food making my stomach lurch again. Instead I grabbed my box of medicine, a glass of water, and flop onto the sofa, curling up into a ball. I clenched my fists and concentrated on staying awake. I counted the ceiling tiles twice, took my medication, threw up my medication, and got a heavy nosebleed. I sat on the toilet seat, holding wads of tissue to my face, trying to stem the flow. I waited for ten minutes, twenty minutes, twenty five minutes... And it still hadn't stopped. My skin was white as a sheet, and the room spun when I stood. In the end I crawled to the bedroom, took the phone from the charger, and dialled the number for Allison's department.  
"Emergency department" came a voice from the other end of the line "Nurse Foster speaking." I asked for Ally, but she wasn't there. At lunch presumably. When the Nurse asked whether she could get anyone else for me, I asked for Dr. Cuddy.  
"Lisa Cuddy speaking." I struggled to answer, my mouth filling with blood. _Shit.  
_"It's me... I need help" I mumbled. Instantly Cuddy's tone became more alert.  
"Dr. Hadley? What's up?" I coughed, splattering blood against our cream duvet cover. _Ally's gonna kill me _I thought, before I passed out.

_Cuddy  
_I couldn't find Dr. Cameron anywhere, so I was forced to go without her to their shared apartment. I hadn't ever imagined them getting together; I was well aware of Dr. Hadley's bisexuality but I had always presumed that Allison was straight. Wrongly presumed apparently. Upon reaching their home I started to really regret not having taken anyone with me. For starters, the front door was locked. In the end I had to shatter the glass window above the door handle to get in. Secondly, I had no idea of bearings around the home.  
"Dr. Hadley?" I called, and then "Remy? Are you there?" Silence pressed in on my eardrums. I called again, and peered into the lounge, the bathroom, and finally the bedroom. _Oh God.  
_I ran towards the frail figure slumped against the bed, the area around her splattered with crimson liquid, red poppies strewn across the flower patterned rug when before it had only consisted of roses and lilies before. I kneeled down to take her pulse,weak and fast, and took the tissues from her unresisting hand, so pale against the blood smeared over her fingers. I clamped them over her nose, desperate to keep her from bleeding out.  
"Remy? Remy! Wake up!" she moaned incoherently. "C'mon, this is an order! Open your eyes!" she was pale, oh so pale. I put a hand to her forehead. She was cold, and she was sweating. I leaned forwards to listen to her breathing. It was rapid. I took my cell from my pocket and flipped it open to find several missed calls from Cameron. I ignored these and dialled 911.  
"This is Lisa Cuddy, dean of Princeton Plainsboro. I need an ambulance for a female Leukaemia patient aged in her late twenties who is rapidly losing blood and has gone into hypovolemic shock. I need an ambulance right away."

With the ambulance dispatched, I pulled Remy up and laid her on her bed, keeping her head flat on the covers and her legs elevated.  
"Oh, God!" I voice breathed behind me. I spun round to see a wide-eyed Cameron staring at her unconscious girlfriend, a hand to her open mouth. I stared at her for a moment, opening my mouth to offer some words of comfort. On finding none, I shot her a look of sympathy and turned back to Remy. I turned her head to the side. "I, um... You wouldn't happen to have a suction tube would you?" I asked. Allison nodded and went to the bathroom to retrieve it. I nodded in thanks and held out my hand to take it. But she shook her head and knelt down to do it herself, carefully opening her mouth and draining as much of the blood away from her airway as possible. I watched her, almost mesmerised as she stroked Remy's cheek, whispered in her ear and cried softly. I sat on the bed and put a reassuring hand on her arm. She leaned into me, and I hugged her, my fingers stroking her back. Over her shoulder I watched Remy breathe, her chest rising and falling. I'm sure I even saw a little smile lingering on her lips, feeling the comfort and safety only the love of your life _can _bring.

_...I suck at this, right? Too soapy? I guess I should maybe lay off Holby City for a while... Or perhaps maybe write for that show instead.  
Never mind.  
On another note, I very noobishly started three stories that I intended to have multiple chapters in within a few weeks of each other. Therefore, I am putting this one on hold, as it isn't attracting much attention anyway. Well, none of my stories are, but that's beside the point.  
So... Yeah. Hope you enjoyed this anyway._


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